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If you squint a lot and your head hurts all the time, you probably need a new pair of specs. Also, if you’re mistaking important-looking dudes for Apple CEO Tim Cook, you definitely need to investigate vision correction. Valve CEO Gabe Newell has said that Cook didn’t visit Valve HQ in Bellevue last week, which squashes the wild rumor reports to the contrary. It’s sad when the speculation machine runs out of gas so soon, right?

Newell would know, by the way. He’s kind of important. Like, he’s at least one of the guys Cook would talk with if, say, he visited Valve HQ. Newell explains his and Valve’s initial reaction to the rumor on the Seven Day Cooldown podcast.

We actually, we all sent mail to each other, going, “Who’s Tim Cook meeting with? Is he meeting with you? I’m not meeting with Tim Cook.” So we’re… it’s one of those rumors that was stated so factually that we were actually confused.

No one here was meeting with Tim Cook or with anybody at Apple that day. I wish we were! We have a long list of things we’d love to see Apple do to support games and gaming better. But no, we didn’t meet with Tim Cook. He seems like a smart guy, but I’ve never actually met him.

It’s a bummer that that Apple and Valve didn’t bang heads, as the meeting would surely benefit both companies, but at least we got to read some imaginative stuff last week, right? That’s how we’re looking at this.

[via Kotaku]

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If you pay attention to the world of iOS game music, you might already know Whitaker Trebella’s work. He has composed themes for games that include Super Stickman Golf [$0.99], Tilt to Live [$2.99] and Velocispider [$1.99]. But now he’s taken on the role of game developer. Trebella’s first game, Polymer, is due to hit the App Store soon, and we’ve had a chance to play with a recent build. It’s a strategic shape-creating game, in Trebella’s words, enhanced with a great soundtrack.

A polymer, in the parlance of the game, is a complete shape, one with no unfinished edges. You achieve this by sliding rows and columns back and forth to move pieces into place. A skilled player might be able to use every piece on the board, but each piece you move takes six or nine others with it. Larger creations become exponentially more difficult to make without disruption, but they’re oh so satisfying to reach for. It’s almost a shame to destroy them, but that’s where the points come in.

Like so many developers, Trebella came to iOS with no prior programming experience. But his time composing for big names of the indie scene convinced him that he needed to make a game of his own. A little study, a little elbow grease, and a year and a half later we (almost) have Polymer. But playing the game, you can see how much Trebella picked up in his time spent on the periphery of iOS development. It’s ridiculously savvy to the realities of both touch screen gaming and the iOS market, things most first-time developers struggle with.

It should come as no surprise that Trebella brought his musical talents to bear on Polymer. It isn’t a music game, but it can be quite musical. Each of the game’s three modes has its own soundtrack. You enhance that soundtrack while you play, destroying polymers that chime out musical tones. Each track is in a different key, and the sound effects, notes in the chromatic scale, are designed to fit within the key of the current track. In laymen’s terms, let’s just say the sound blends beautifully with the music.

Polymer’s three modes give you a lot to play with. One lets you race for the highest score you can hit in two minutes, and it’s polar opposite is a mode that requires you make the best single polymer you can in any length of time. The third ratchets up the tension in a sort of survival situation: you must destroy ticking time bombs by incorporating them into polymers. They come faster and faster until you eventually explode. The game also has a nifty unlockable system that introduces you to each element of the game piece by piece.

We don’t have a release date quite yet, but Polymer has been submitted to Apple for approval so it’s just a matter of time. Stay tuned—we’ll take a closer look on release and give you our final verdict. An educated guess in the meantime: it looks like Polymer is destined to eat a lot of the hours of thoughtful gamers.

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“I’ve kind of been the driving force behind this.” Chris Ewington describes what board games mean to him in passionate bursts. “It’s who I am. It’s what I do. It’s what I was meant to do.” Chris is the head honcho at Codito Development, an outfit that specializes in securing licensing and then reproducing tabletop games on iPad under the banner of Sage Games. Chris’ experience with porting the tabletop experience stretches long before iPad came into our lives. He used to make “homegrown” computer versions of his favorites to share with friends and family.

In a lot of ways, he’s the perfect guy to be doing this. His studio has the talent, and he has an astounding amount of reverence for the art form and what it does differently in today’s modern gaming landscape, which is dominated by stupid games like Angry Birds.

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“There’s a lot to be said I think in terms of entertainment value for things like Angry Birds and those huge hits out there where you can go play for 10 seconds and get some fun out of that, but with board games there’s a little more thought involved,” he tells us on this week’s bonus episode of the TouchArcade Show.

“They offer a lot of the other great things that some of those hit titles have, and particularly these euro board games have really great theming. You can kind of get into the world of the game if you will. They also have the replayability and fun factor — there isn’t just one way to win this game,” he says, picturing a title. “If I play it again, even with the same people, it’s going to be a completely different experience.”

Before iPad was even announced, Chris was thinking about iPad. He and his pals had been talking about playing board games on something just a little bit bigger than an iPhone or iPod Touch. He describes the announcement of iPad as an “Apple Saves The Day” kind of moment, as it gave him a legitimate outlet to take his passion and put it into a series of digital products. The list of official ports since is long: Chris has had a hand in Puerto Rico, Ra, Medici, and most recently, Tigris & Euphrates.

In a weird twist, the growth of the App Store has given Chris a calling. The majority of App Store consumers are casual-leaning, so they aren’t familiar with titles like Puerto Rico [$7.99] or Tigris & Euphrates [$4.99]. Chris says its his studio’s mission to get people to play these kinds of games, to show them that games can offer so much more than cheap thrills.

“…it’s part of our mission to open some eyes and introduce people to the joys of it. You can sit down and play a game like Puerto Rico or Tigris and you don’t know what’s going to happen. You have a rough idea how to play the game, but you don’t know what the interactions are going to be.” Chris says that the fact that most board games don’t have a single win condition is one of the most interesting things about them. The high-level strategy, complex theming, and even proximity are several of his other favorite aspects on his personal list.

His goal is lofty, but Chris is still grounded. He realizes that the world of gaming has moved on from tabletop. Much more visceral games like Pong, Mario, and Call of Duty have been re-defining what games are. It’s a new landscape, new audience, new world. But the things he most celebrates about board games are what he thinks will keep people around.

It’s also why he’ll continue doing what he’s doing.

“Board games are a natural fit for my interests and personality. I think more in 2D than 3D. And so, it’s not just … experiencing this big 3D world and trying to blast people. It’s more cerebral than that. It lets you focus more on the interactions between the players and the strategies of the game,” he tells us.

Le Havre

Chris is putting his 2D brain to good use with the studio’s next project, Le Havre. This title will mark the first time Codito Development will ever use a board game’s original art in a port. Chris believes this will add to its appeal for older fans, as it’ll be a much more authentic-looking experience than normal. That said, Codito will do the same thing it always does with its borderline masterful board game ports: honor the design and only streamline the mechanical parts of the experience.

Chris explains what Le Havre is all about. ”It’s largely a card-based game where, rather than having little squares or pieces, it’s based on cards you collect. Those cards represent different buildings you can use in the game. Again, the theming, is really what makes these games stand out above other board games and other games in some cases,” he tells us.

“It’s got this really cool feel of being in the harbor and you’re trying to develop your interests and amass the most amount of wealth at the end of the game. And to crush all of your opponents.”

Le Havre is a fairly recent creation. Publisher Lookout Games released the title in German and Australian English in October 2008. Board Game Geek has a scary breakdown of how it works, but we advise that you not look. The upcoming iPad version, as with all of Codito’s awesome ports, will focus on cleaning up the experience and putting the rules in the background.

“Our challenge is to take care of as much of the mechanics as we can and support the game experience without taking away from it. Let’s get all the other crap out of the way so you guys can just have fun playing the game and have fun with the theme and figuring out how to kick your friends ass without having to remember all the rules and picking up all the pieces and sort them out,” Chris says.

Chris has a lot more to say on this week’s show, so give it a listen. We do podcasts with interesting folks in the iOS space at least twice a month. We’ll be back later this week with another regular episode of the TouchArcade Show.

Oh, and as a special-special bonus to our podcast listeners, Codito is offering up three of its games for $1.99. Here’s some links:

• Reiner Knizia’s Ra [$1.99]
• Tikal [$1.99]
• Reiner Knizia’s Tigris & Euphrates [$1.99]

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Ladies and gentlemen, fire up your speculation machines, as this one is a doozie. According to Apple Insider, Apple CEO Tim Cook was spotted wandering around the Valve headquarters in Bellevue, WA earlier today. What his purpose was for swinging by is basically a game of Apple rumor whack-a-mole. Valve got involved with the Apple community when they released Steam for the Mac, and since then have even released Steam Mobile [ Free ] for iOS devices.

The possibilities are endless. An expanded collaboration between the two companies could be in the works which could mean more Mac games, or potentially Valve even getting into iOS development. Either way, something strange is afoot. Of course, Tim could just have flown up there to go out to lunch with Gabe, too. Or, maybe he’s just a fan of the greater Seattle area.

Speculation time… GO!

[via Apple Insider]

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Linux Tycoon, in case you’ve never heard of it, bills itself as “the world’s premiere Linux Distribution Building Simulation Game.” It’s got similar gameplay to the many other Tycoon-style games out there, with one gloriously nerdy twist. In Linux Tycoon, you’re not building railroads, managing hospitals, or anything like that, you’re trying to build the world’s greatest Linux distro.

You’ll analyze and select the software packages included in your distro, fix bugs, and manage both your volunteers and paid staff while trying to keep the file size of your distro reasonable… And much more. There’s even an online component, which will turn Linux Tycoon into the world’s first MMOLDBSG, or, for those of you playing along at home, that’s a “Massively Multiplayer Online Linux Distro Building Simulation Game.”

If all goes as planned, Linux Tycoon will be submitted to the App Store for approval sometime next week, and released as soon as Apple gives the thumbs up. Pricing is yet to be announced, but it sounds like it’ll be in line with what you’d expect.

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Since he started making games for iOS, indie developer Jeff Minter of Llamasoft has really been cranking them out. The guy has been making games — and, rather unique games, I might add — for over 30 years, but I don’t believe he’s ever dished out one after another faster than he’s doing for Apple’s platform. And that’s really good news for iOS gamers because all of his iOS titles are rather well done and worth playing. His latest title, Five A Day [link], which just landed in the App Store, comes close on the heels of Gridrunner for iOS, his excellent remake of his original 1982 VIC-20 game and one of the best shooters on the platform.

When we first reported that Minter was developing for iOS, about two and a half years ago, we mentioned a Time Pilot-style game that he was working on, set to be his first iOS release. Well, time passed, Minotaur Rescue arrived, and we never saw anything else about that supposed first iOS release. That is to say, not until now.

Five A Day is a shooter (with bananas), but it’s equally an ethereal experience of sorts. It’s a kind of spacey, zen sort of thing. It’s a little hard to describe, so I’ll let the author.

…it should’ve just progressed into a good old banana-oriented shooter as originally intended but by accident it sort of went all New Age and ambient. While still actually retaining the characteristic of actually being any good, of course. It didn’t just turn into a useless ageing hippy of a game that lies around smoking weed and listening to Steve Hillage and burbling on about auras and crystals without ever doing anything useful. Redolent it may be of joss sticks and wind chimes but it’s still jolly good fun and will kick your arse quite handily on the higher levels, just you wait and see.

But what turned the game all auras and wind chimes? Apparently, it’s largely due to the in-game audio which, Minter indicates, lead the way in shaping the game during its development.

It started relatively slowly at first, with just fluffy clouds and the addition of a rainbow trail behind the spaceship. Then I needed some audio and headed out to a site called Freesound, where you can download snippets of stuff and use them in your projects. You can search by keyword so I put in “Space”, and that was it, game was doomed from that point on. All manner of floaty synth sustains, whale noises, chimes and gongs, page after page of them. Once I started putting one or two of them into the game, the game more or less began to shape itself. By the time I got to the first shower of bananas and enumeration of the first end of level bonus the audio was already heading firmly in the direction of “epic New Age”, and that’s how it ended up.

So, there it is. Every Minter game I can think of is rather “out there,” but this one is just a little moreso, perhaps (if you can imagine it).

We’ve got the vibe covered, now for the gameplay. Five A Day puts you in control of a craft soaring through the clouds, forever shooting. The sky is full of baddies that resemble familiar, pixellated villains of video games’ past. Some of these baddies are in possession of fruit. You want the fruit, and you need to destroy said baddies to collect it. There are also rainbow-bejumpered minotaurs floating about. Collecting either of these places them in tow and increases your shield power (which enemy fire drains) and, in the case of the latter, results in a Death Blossom-style weapons discharge that is bad for those around you.

As you progress, other elements come into play as well, such as bosses, sky-mines, homing missiles, and the like. A goal of the game is to finish each round with at least one piece of fruit in tow, as five such completions in a row result in a bonus life for your having been the healthy lad and getting your five-a-day (of fruits and veggies). And the whole thing is set not to a frantic, pumping audio beat-track, but to the whispers and tinkles of a holistic astral massage parlor. It’s an interesting — and fairly odd — scenario.

Your ship can be controlled via touch, by drawing circles anywhere on the screen in indication of how you want to maneuver, as well as via tilt-control. As with most iOS Llamasoft titles, the iCade control unit is also supported. Our gameplay video demonstrates iCade and touch controls. Being a universal app, Five A Day plays nice with both iPhone and iPad.

I’ve been having a lot of fun over the past few days with Five A Day, as I have with every one of Minter’s iOS releases. (The guy’s catalog is outstanding and should be investigated by everyone reading this.) That said, the overall feel and pacing of the game — a bit more relaxed than the typical shooter out there — combined with the ethereal audio stylings deliver an experience that might come across as a bit of an oddity to the typical gamer as compared to most of his other iOS releases, or certainly most other shooters out there. I would recommend Five A Day to any like-minded gamer, but it’s definitely a different sort of shooter experience.

TouchArcade Rating:

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On this week’s episode of the TouchArcade Show we power… actually, we stay pretty much on topic. At the top, we address a pressing bit of user feedback before jumping into the latest, hottest, and best in iOS. Fibble and On the Wind lead off our games segment, and then we gleefully dive into a bunch of news-y subjects after the break. Topics include the latest rash of 3rd party peripherals and EA being voted the worst company in that one Internet poll.

Feel free to join us. You can listen via one of the links below, or hey, subscribe to us on either iTunes or Zune. If you like us, subscribing is the easiest way to get our new podcasts the second they hit the web.

Also, don’t forget to rate us and be sure to denote your team affiliation.

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And now, the show notes:

GAMES

• On The Wind [$1.99]
• Towers N Trolls [$.99 / UHD]
• Fibble [$1.99 / HD]
• Sky Gnomes [$.99]

JARED’S KITTY KORNER

• Super Catrio I [$.99 / Lite]

FRONT PAGE

• Controller Round-up: Apple’s rumored device, the BladePad, and An Interesting Camera-Enabled peripheral
• EA Voted Worst Company In America
• Square Releases Puzzling New Game

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In a world where trees can murder grandmothers, a lumberjack who can distort time and space takes his revenge. Welcome to the premise of Owlchemy Labs’ next absurd iPad and iPhone game, Jack Lumber. Set to hit later this summer, it’s a log slicing game with a delicious looking bullet-time mechanic. But don’t call it a Fruit Ninja-alike.

“Our goals with Jack Lumber were to create the best damn lumberjacking game this side of the Redwoods,” Owlchemy’s Alex Schwartz told us. “The scientists here at Owlchemy Labs love the Halfbrick guys with all our heart, but comparing Jack Lumber to Fruit Ninja is like comparing apples to logs. After six iterations of crazy log-cutting gameplay, we hit on something magical.”

Alex shared an… interesting play-by-play:

Logs are flying by at breakneck speed. You’re watching intently to find that exact moment where the logs have coalesced on-screen to form a perfect arrangement. You can feel that it’s the right time, so you touch your finger down. Time slows to a halt. You’re in “Lumber Time”. Thankfully, you have supernatural powers, otherwise this would be quite difficult. You draw a smooth and calculated path with your finger, swooping through logs from end-to-end along the grain, weaving, dodging, and turning with the finesse of a brutish and hairy figure skater.

You see you have less than a second of draw time left on the clock and you catch the ‘Time Extended’ bonus log and sigh a breath of relief for a brief moment, drawing onward to grab the last four logs remaining on screen. But wait! A skunk is in your way and you barely pivot around him before he releases his raunchy green ‘defensive maneuver’ on you. You successfully clip the last log and triumphantly lift your finger as your axe replays your epic path of destruction, decimating every log with the fury you reserve only for the trees that killed your grandma. Combo points explode from the madness and ‘Straight Shot’ bonuses fill the screen as your eyes tear up from sheer joy and excitement.

Also, there are flying moose.

We’ve got the first footage of the titular hero’s title just below, but you’ll also get to see it in action during PAX East at the Indie MEGABOOTH, which will feature many other games to play.

We saw a generous Jack Lumber sneak peek this year at GDC 2012, and were impressed with the iterative design on display. Most slicing games don’t bother to mix up the formula, but this does by introducing choice into the mix. You won’t just be slicing wood, you’ll be making an informed tactical decision with each cut. The game will also feature a full campaign mode with dialogue, and a progression mechanic for your axe. “You can upgrade your axes to absurd lengths,” we’re told, “to the point where you get the Canadian maple leaf axe among others.”

“Absurd” is the right word for this. We’re hopelessly stoked to see this in motion, so stay tuned. We’ll be bring you a lot more before its release.

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